Speed Tweak Recant and Apology
Thanks to the various communities I am a part of, I've been taught better than that little Speed Tweak I posted earlier.
Apparently it's bad practice and can break stuff and, in my case at least, the performance gain was due to the fact that I formed my /etc/nsswitch.conf files incorrectly out of ignorance, having it check for hostnames via wins before looking at the hosts file. It seems that by assigning it to 127.0.0.1, it began resolving it from memory.
I had no idea when I made that change that the computer would be checking for it's OWN hostname everytime it went to run a program. Seems like a strange practice...
So, by correctly forming my /etc/nsswitch.conf with files at the beginning, I'm still experiencing a noticeable speed boost, but this wouldn't help anyone who didn't bugger up their /etc/nsswitch.conf file in the first place.
I'm sorry for advocating a bad practice. I was simply excited that it seemed to work for me.